Of'en and wi'h grea' alacri'y

I'm sure I didn't hear it growing up. It probably starting with a self conscious attempt to enunciate better. But in any event, somewhere along the line, I start to pronounce the "t" in "often." And that makes me a bad person. Affer all, I don't pronounce the "t'" in soften, glisten, wrestle, castle or nestle  - to name a few.

No: often | Yes:  ofen
We have mastered the spelling of this word so well, its spelling influences the pronunciation: DON'T pronounce the [t]! This is an exception to the rule that spelling helps pronunciation.

People striving for sophistication often pronounce the T in this word, but true sophisticates know that the masses are correct in saying “offen.”

But if that makes me bad, apparently I have company.

According to Random House II (1987)

OFTEN was pronounced with a t- sound until the 17th century, when a pronunciation without the (t) came to predominate in the speech of the educated, in both North America and Great Britain, and the earlier pronunciation fell into disfavor. Common use of a spelling pronunciation has since restored the (t) for many speakers, and today [AWF-in] and [AWF-tin]…exist side by side. Although it is still sometimes criticized, OFTEN with a (t) is now so widely heard from educated speakers that it has become fully standard once again.

The American Heritage Book of English Usage (1996) suggests that the /t/ was lost in the 15th century, but that "Because of the influence of spelling," often "is now commonly pronounced with the t.
...[The] OED [notes] that twentieth century usage guides, including Modern English Usage (Fowler 1926) call pronunciation with /t/ a hypercorrection.

Perhaps.But can any English speaker really afford to get persnickety about consistent pronunciation? If so, decide how you want to pronounce the '"gh" sound in "Eight tough youths weighed enough boughs." Or, for that matter, the sound produced by "ou".

It isn't as though I've never heard a word pronounced in a way that seemed wrong to me and it bothered the stough out of me. But it probably annoyed educated people as much when language change took the "t" sound out of "often".

Perhaps the lesten to be learned is that language change happens. Deal with it.